Unfortunately, the world today seems to be in the grip of a monstrous case of life imitating art. Mad improbably fair-haired men are ruining the world. The schlocky trope has jumped from the movies into real life and Roger Moore’s too old to save us. Everywhere you turn men who look like the Milky Bar Kid’s strange uncle are destroying democracy and spreading prejudice. The Malfoys are running the salon.
There are now so many real-life blond baddies that it’s only natural to wonder whether every man with the full Pat Butcher is evil. The only rational answer is obviously: no, of course not. But … but. We don’t live in a rational world. We live in a world where reason and evidence mean nothing. Where a man who felt the need to come to the defence of his own penis during a political debate attained the highest office on the planet. In a world like this who are we to say that pure evil doesn’t take the form of Macaulay Culkin?
We already know who the truly evil blond men are, they’re hard to miss after all. But to definitively answer this important question we must look beyond Donald Trump, Geert Wilders, Milo Yiannopoulos, Julian Assange and Robbie Savage and consider a more diverse range of blond man.
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